Friends suspected it, members of my own family most likely suspected it, and even I knew I was different. I struggle with social relationships and miss a lot of social cues. Certain things will spark my interest and others I will completely ignore.
I was diagnosed in 2018 by a psychologist at my Graduate School with high-functioning Autism Spectrum Disorder. In the previous DSM, it would have been classified as Asperger's, but due to the Nazi connotation it is now classified as ASD. Regardless, teaching with the diagnosis has opened my eyes.
For example, I am a minimalist when it comes to my room. If I do have to put up bulletin boards, I do have mini meltdowns because I can not cut the paper straight. Even if I use a yardstick and ruler to do the boards, I freak out. I struggle to put border up in a straight fashion. However, I am hoping that I get better as I continue to teach.
I also suffer from low self-efficacy. Part of that is life experience (including trauma). Growing up, I never really fit in social groups. Always played by myself, and the lack of socializing had some bad results. I do not trust people easily and though I was really more open as a child, the trust issue has closed even more.
I also have lots of books in my room and allow students to read and use the desk bikes to ride. In addition, I can work on small groups in one corner without disturbing the others. My admin calls it Zen. If I am working on data or research, I'm in my Zen mode. Data makes me happy, helping kids learn how to read makes me happy. Studying behavior that I don't understand also makes me happy.
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