Personal Rules for Life (Part 1)

Dear World,

I realize that we live in a polarized society where society dictates that you are either right or wrong. There is no compromise and if you have a differing opinion you must be silenced. As someone who has always been the outsider, I have developed my own divergent rules for life that I live by.  These rules help me keep a grip on a society that ostracizes me because I am different and think differently. I still believe that as a society we can agree or disagree with dignity and acceptance. So here are my rules for surviving in a world that considers me an outcast.

1. Trust no one. It took me many years and after the ASD diagnosis to invoke this rule but I have learned not to trust anyone. The ones that you are supposed to trust are more likely to stab you in the back to get ahead in life. I am not saying that everyone is like this, but I have learned not to trust anyone after being burned so many times by people.

2. See Rule 1.  Enough said.

3. You can't fix stupid. No matter how many times I have seen it, watched it, and experienced it. People will do stupid things. This includes wearing shorts in subzero temperatures, make poor life choices, and other things. People can only change if they are motivated intrinsically or extrinsically.  Sit back and enjoy the show.

4.  Don't believe everything you read on the internet.  Pretty straightforward. This is especially true for Social Media. 

5. Do not post personal opinions on Social Media or the Internet. Yeah, I am breaking this one with this journal entry.  The reason for Rule 5 is that someone will always be offended no matter how unintentional you may be with your wording. I know it is very hard for people to remain quiet but this rule is essential for survival on Social Media.

6.  See Rule 5. Enough said.

7. Keep your personal politics to yourself. No one needs to know if you are one side or the other. 

8. Never post your personal politics online. This can be weaponized against you no matter if you said you voted, or even have it posted what your political affiliation is on social media and never go back to it. Trust me, your workplace and society will use your politics against you.

The Military Option: Military First, Life Later

I will put a disclaimer on this post this post is not political. It is meant to serve as another option to college, trade life, or life in general. Take it or leave it.

The military is another option to college. Once you serve a certain number of years part or most of your college education is paid for through the GI Bill. In addition, the military can train recruits for the trades, aviation, and medical fields. The best part? Training and most of the fees are paid for. A lot of my juniors shy away from the military option because the first thing that pops into peoples minds is "I will see war." 

While its true at any given time, a conflict could happen the chances are low that a person depending on where they serve will see active combat. Even if you are deployed, depending on your role you may be able to attend classes via online. My graduate school Grand Canyon University offers virtual courses and one of the students in my doctoral residencies was active duty and deployed in Afghanistan. While doctoral residencies are meant to be in person, he was able to participate by ZOOMing into class and as far as I know he passed.

The military offers courses on base. Having lived around the military bases in North Carolina, I know that the community colleges, local universities, and even others set up courses for our military personnel to attend. I know a few who took advantage of this route and the good thing for spouses, they could attend these classes at reduced rates. 

Getting back to the military option, I highly suggest that if you can not afford to go to college or civilian life think about getting a job while in the military.  I have friends who were Marines and now serve as commercial airline pilots. The same for friends who were in the army who now are truck drivers or engineers with one of the nuclear plants in the country.

My dad served in Vietnam and while he did not finish college, he did learn clerical and business skills while serving in the Navy. Those skills transferred over to civilian life and he went into the trades as a HVAC salesman and technician. He made more in that field than my mom ever did as a teacher with a Master's degree. 

The military also allows the opportunity to grow in the legal field. There are so many options and some stay in the military until they are able to recover. In fact, there is nothing wrong with the military as an alternative to college, trades, or civilian life.

Just another route to think about.